


Someday we'll laugh about this

by Julia_misko



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Castiel is a Good Friend, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Crack, Dean Has Issues, Eavesdropping, Falling In Love, Fluff, Jealous Dean, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Dean, Sam Is So Done, Sam Ships It, Smart Sam, dean imagining things, funny sam, unintentional eavesdropping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7115029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_misko/pseuds/Julia_misko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel is a problem for everyone, even for Dean and Cas and especially for Sam. Problems need to be solved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A silly little story about confused boys.   
> I don't own anything. Not beta'd and probably with a lot of mistakes. Tell me about them.  
> Be prepared- I might never end the story or post a new chapter. Just beacuse of other responsibilities, not because I'm mean.

Dean was confused,so very confused. He mocked the way Cas labeled their relationship as profound bond, but that's exactly what it was. And the fact he missed Cas when he wasn't around. And the fact he had some,khm, strange dreams about Cas for some time now. But Dean, being the Dean he was, never gave any thought to any of that. He just kept going with their same routine without getting all analytic and feely.

Cas was connected to Dean. The need to always be there for him, come when he calls, give up everything for him, save him, felt so natural to him. He never questioned that. Then he learned about the concept of love,as in romantic,in-love-kind-of -love love. He didn't hear it from Dean, but his mind insantly went to him. 

Sam couldn't stand all of this anymore. He was fed up with all this UST and Cas and Dean's stubbornness in general. Sometimes, when things were going well, he was maybe a little jealous, but only of the connection the two of them shared. So, he wasn't surprised when he noticed Cas was acting tense around Dean lately, like he was affraid he'd make a wrong move or say something wrong. One night he approached Cas about that subject when Dean was in the garage working on the car. 

 

"Cas,man, don't feak out on me now. Can I talk to you for a moment? I know we haven't been very close, I mean you're like a brother to me, I swear, but with our hard hunter lives and your lack of people skills we don't talk about situations we experience and how they affect and change us."

Cas frowned at him but his face softened as he sat down at the table. "Sure, Sam. Anything I can help you with?" Cas, always so considerate.

"I was kinda hoping I could help you. I noticed you and Dean have been dancing around each other for quite some time now. I guess I came to you first beacuse you're less emotionally constipated than my brother and you usually know what you feel or want but just don't know how to define it. Am I right?"

"If you're talking about my affection towards Dean, then I can say you percieve correctly. I'm just not sure if it's mutual. Sometimes I'm under the impression he's into me, as you'd say, but sometimes he's so distant. I just don't know anymore."

"Don't worry. If I know Dean like I do, a brother who I grew up with and who took care of me basically every day of my life, I'd say he likes you too. It' s just new to him and it's going to take some time to sort it all out. Be patient. I'm here to help." Cas smiled. 

 

Dean came in the room, casually wiping his hands with some old rag when we was snapped out of his thoughts by Sam's voice. " Sorry, Dean, could you give us a moment, please?"

"Um... yeah, dude.. I'm gonna go get a shower" he answered with an apologetic look. He replayed the scene in his head on his way to the shower. They both looked normal, casually chatting, sitting at he kitchen table. What were they talking about and didn't want him to know, he frowned, but didn't give it much thought.

 

For a moment they just sat there in silence. Then Cas spoke " Thank you, Sam, for all your support. I hope we can make it. I don't want to ruin what we have now. It feels nice living like this with the two of you." 

"Sure man. Remember, it's going to be okay!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast chapter written late at night instead of sleeping,hence the mistakes.

It's been a slow couple of days, maybe longer. They didn't have any cases, only two easy ones. Sam went alone and handled one of them, Dean took care of the other in less than two days. It was easy to fall in a warm domestic routine. The three of them felt relaxed and it showed. Cas liked afternoon naps while Dean worked on the car. Sam was busy organising their archive. They had time to listen to music and watch movies. It was a great pleasure to show Cas some of the classic works of cinematography. Sometimes they went out and had pie or ice-cream, on other nights they just drove around after picking up the groceries at the store. No matter they were allready close, time spent together has gotten them even closer.

Now that Cas wasn't a virgin in technical sense anymore (not like April counted as something more than that technical sense) he felt more relaxed to talk about sex around him and Sam, Dean had noticed. Nothing too explicit or provocative, just a snarky comment about broad variety of kinks or teasing them about human needs. 

...

Saturday was cleaning day. All three of them had their chores. It wasn't easy to move around without bumping into each other. One time Cas was dusting in the living room. Dean could've sworn he pressed him against the sofa harder and longer then necessary. He felt Cas' hand on his waist as he almost lost his balance. Cas looked him in the eye and held his gaze for a moment and then left the room. Dean didn't blush easily but this was the first time something like this happened and his face was burning red. After that, Cas seemed to engage in soft smiles, the lingering ( always decent) touches, being close to Dean in general, but never violating his personal space like Dean had told him not to many years ago. 

Dean wanted to enjoy the intensified affection but he couldn't help feeling guilty for betraying Cas by corrupting him already and still wanting more from him. He started to avoid his company. Even worse, one time Cas patted his shoulder and he jerked away and yelled at him. Immediate regret. 

 

Cas started to spend more time with Sam. Or stayed around Dean only in Sam's presence. On the surface nothing seemed to change but there was this bitter feeling inside Dean that slowly tore him appart. 

 

One day he saw a note on the fridge telling him Sam and Cas went for a ride and some beers and burgers after that.   
They went out. Without him. Dean couldn't help but feel a bit hurt.   
"Why should they have all the fun" he thought and took a whiskey bottle to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I remember where I'm going with this. Unexpected feelings ahead.

"Thank you , Sam, for helping me with everything, but I don't see how the two of us going out without Dean is going to bring us closer" Cas was squriming in his chair. The bar was crowded and the music loud.

"Relax,man. This is just fun. We need to relax and change the ambience sometimes. Besides, this way Dean has time and space to realize he misses you." he nudged him with is elbow and handed him a beer.

"So, you believe this ... me and Dean ... could work?" asked Cas.

"Yeah, man, sure. I know both of you aren't exactly straightforward, open or talkative ... where was I going with this.." Sam looked puzzled, then laughed " but that's why you are made for each other. That , and the fact you love each other. Everybody can see that... Except you two apparently."

"No, Sam, I...love him , as you say. Now I see that. But I'm not sure what it means, for me, for him, our lives. I'm not good at these things. I don't want to make a mistake and ruin things." 

Cas never looked so small and vulnerable. But when he looked at him,Sam could see hope in his eyes and a little smile in the corner of his lips.

"Nobody is ruining anything. Dean is just a bit edgy these days. I'm sure it's got nothing to do with you. Just give him more time. We'll melt his defense, don't you worry, just with a changed tactics."

"WE?"

"Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. Believe me, I want, NO, I need you two to sort this out so we can get on with our lives. The fact you two are all I have is making it even more important."

 

Sam meant every word. Too bad he couldn't read confused minds.

 

....

 

Dean was lying in bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. He had two drinks and decided he doesn't need or want anymore. This should be enough to make him sleepy and not miserable and numb.

What is wrong with him, he asked himself. Why is Cas' presence making him so uncomfortable. He had noticed his reaction to him a long time ago. Everyone else seemed to notice too. He liked having him around, he was honest, brave, kind, fun, good looking - hey, he's not affraid to admit that either, it's the person you love, not the gender.

"Love him?" his eyes flew open. His fast train of thought brought him to that definition. Deep down he knew that too, with the profound bond and everything, just never specified it with words. What was the problem, then? Feelings were always something he's bad at. His life was hard and ruthless at times. He'd learn from early on not to lull himslef into false sense of security. That part of him is burried deep down inside him. They practicly lived on the road with danger lurking behind every corner. This was their life for such a long time. He just couldn't imagine anything diffrent. It just wouldn't work. Even if things are a bit calmer these past weeks, that can change in a moment. He can live with that, but letting himslef belive there's something better out there and then loose that dream, that he could not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered where I was going with this and I wrote fast. Too lazy for spelling errors. I hope there's someone who likes this story.  
> Sammy has a bigger role than I expected. Poor thing, should have tagged that.

Sam is the analytic type. He dives in the problem and studies it from every possible angle for best results. This has worked for him while he was at Stanford and it sure is helping them in the family business now. So he made a list of popular movies with romance as the main plot, not for entertainment purposes, but as a study material for Cas to percieve the facial expressions and subtext between the characters. It's easier just to show him instead of talk about it for hours. He was good at reading people, their job had taught him that, but only when it came to solving mysteries or hunting demons. Relationships weren't his thing. Well, that's another thing the three had in common. 

Movies were based on simple plots and generic dialogues but also were a much better alternative to destroying a friendship between his friend and his brother over stupid, constipated pining. With no psychologist in sight! Only problem was Dean mustn't know they were doing this. He hated chick-flicks. If he finds out Sam is experimenting like this with him, scrubbing the dungeon is guaranteed, or even something worse. So they decided Cas should watch some videos every evening, and then Sam would explain him what's appropriate and what not and give him some guidelines. The next day he'd observe Cas trying to apply what he had learned. This was like his personal project. 

He was so proud when Cas made breakfast one morning, a warm, tasty one, to their surprise. Serving them their plates , he confidently said "Hope this proves I'm a great boyfriend material" . Dean slowly nodded, eyes never leaving Cas until he gave him a flirtatious wink. Dean gave him a shy smile. He would have grinned wider but his mouth were already full of syrupy pancakes. 

 

One night Cas told Sam he wasn't sure how this girl Sally realized her longtime friend was more than a friend and what changed her mind. Sam was particularly proud of his choice of this movie. He decided it fits so well to this mess and suggested to rewatch it with Cas on his laptop, volume low, because of the restaurant scene, of course. 

They couldn't use the TV set at this hour so they went to the bedroom to watch it. They were almost near the end and didn't hear Dean coming in. The view was confusing, at least. Sam and Cas on his bed, wearing pajamas, their backs against the headboard, laptop in front of them....

 

Dean was an impulsive guy. Eliminate the threat at all cost. It's a quality of a good hunter. He knew how to get maximum effect in a short period of time. But in a situation like this he was paralysed. The more he thought about it, the smaller the chance for acting upon it became.

Cas looked at Dean just for a brief moment. Then his gaze fell. Dean couldn't miss that moment. He knew the meaning of that look. Cas felt guilty. Guilty because he developed feelings for Sam and abandoned the profound bond he had with Dean. Well, there is one thing Dean could do. He is not going to stand in their way and let his presence be a burden on the happiness of the two people he loves the most; his brother and his personal angel. But he's not going to stand there looking at them and share an awkward moment with them either.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The grammar is awful in this one, sorry about that (not saying it'll get better).
> 
> And again me with the bycicle touring... how did I learn that skill *wink*
> 
> Poor Dean, I usualy enjoy this, but now I'm a little sad.

Nights are dark and scary, a playground of tormenting demons, inner ones as well as those on the outside, but when the morning comes and light touches every shadow and every dark corner things look better and brighter. 

Dean got up from his bed well rested and tried to shook off the heavy feeling off his shoulders. Sometimes his mind is playing tricks on him.... It was late in the morning when he went to get a breakfast. Cas and Sam were waiting for him to get ready so they all could go for a bike ride. Yes, a bike ride. That was something new for them, but every once in awhile they would try out a new thing. They have been out of shape lately and needed something fun so Sam suggested they rent bikes and make a little local tour. Nothing too big, just a short ride to stretch out their muscles. No bike shorts, just casual sportswear, water bottles and a snack, of course. 

"Wow, Sammy, I can't remember the last time we did this, it was, like, decades ago" , the ride on the tandem bike clearly doesn't count.

"Yeah, I think dad was still around" replied Sam.

It was a great day, the weather was great, sunny but not too warm. After a short drive on the bike trail they decided to go through the woods and explore the nature. At first Cas had problems keeping up but soon he was as good as the brothers. 

On their way back they stopped to get burgers and beers. None of them felt too tired, they had fun and Dean even tried to persuade Cas to lip sync a duet with him to some classic rock but then Sam started to sing out loud and they all burst into laughing. 

The day ended in a cheerful tone. After showers and dinner they agreed to get some rest and went to bed. 

 

.....

 

Physical exertion had an opposite effect on Dean. He must have been too worn out to shut off his body. He wanted to fall asleep but didn't even feel all that tired so he just lay in bed with his eyes closed. The room was dark, everything was quiet and Dean caught himself drifting off to sleep. 

 

He heard a noise. At first it was a low rustling sound. It seemed to be coming from Sam's room. For a couple of minutes that's all there was. Then the grunting started. It was low and quiet but steady... He sat in his bed and remained still. Then the thumping sound became a little louder. What was going on in there... His mind went places. Images he couldn't bear flashed in front of his eyes. 

Then a voice, a low whisper "Sam..." . It was Cas' deep voice, no doubt about it. A short pause. "SAM!" This time it was longer and a bit louder.  
The bed springs were creaking now. No, no, this is not happening. His heart was racing. "Yeeah, Cas." A thump and a sigh. "Ooooh yesss".  
A bit more rustling and then everything went quiet.

 

Dean's head fell back heavily at the pilow. It all happened in a couple of minutes, but he replayed it in his head for the rest of the night. He felt sick. He wanted to throw up, maybe then he'd get some relief, but he didn't throw up and only felt worse. The room around him was dark and cold. That was the night Dean Winchester decided to change.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It all looks good in my head, here not so much. But it's a great amusement.

The two of them were already in the kitchen, awake, dressed and fed. Getting up early gives one time to get the work done. They were standing opposite each other and talking.

"We are not plotting against him." Sam practically yelled. "Anyway, you said yes and you wanted that too." he said with a much nicer tone.

"Yes, I understand, but we should talk to him. I think he deserves to know."

"OK, fine, Cas. I really need to go now. We'll talk when I get back."

....

Dean got up late again, that happens to people who fall asleep at the crack of dawn when everybody else is closer to starting their day. He had floated somewhere between being awake and falling asleep almost entire night, but his exhausted mind had finally tricked him and he had managed to catch two, nearly three hours of sleep. 

He stumbled towards the kitchen, still not quite awake, after brushing his teeth and showering he should have been functioning properly, but he didn't want to be fully lucid, not just yet. He turned around the corner just to hear the door closing and Sam leaving somewhere. Cas stayed alone, sitting at the table, drinking coffee and stirring it absentmindedly. He only looked up after Dean's little cough. His hair was still ruffled and a warm smile spread across his face. Dean's mouth opened in a half-smile but then he looked away. 'How long has he been standing there? Did he hear what Sam and he had been discussing? What is he going to say? ' Cas thought to himself. After a short moment of silence, which felt much longer, Dean spoke first.

"So, Cas, um... you and Sam, huh...?" he stuttered looking mostly at the floor, barely glancing at Cas. His eyes were glued to the floor and next to Cas' feet. Those legs were wrapped around his br...., around Sam's back, pulling him closer. Low voice snapped him out of the dreadful thoughts.

Cas looked AND felt like a deer caught in headlights. So he did hear them. "Yes, I believe there is no point in hiding it. I'm sorry we upset you." Cas apologized, blushing. He was affraid Dean would snap at him again. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

"It's fine, Cas. Do whatever you like....." Dean sighed. His expression softened as he finally looked Cas in the eyes. " I could never get angry with you. You deserve to be happy. So does Sam. And that would make me happy too." He took his jacket and keys and left the room before Cas could say a word. Like he wasn't confused before...

 

....

 

Dean started the engine and drove off. The car, the road, the music... it all felt so comfortable, so close to home. He needed that. He needed a place that feels like a part of him. He had promised himself to change, to be a better man, but a man can handle only certain amount of change in one day. "Baby steps... Right, Baby?" he patted the steering wheel. He was wery proud of his reaction and behaviour towards Cas this morning. If this turns out to be a serious relationship, there is no way he could stand in their way. He will be supportive and happy for them. Eventually.

....

 

It was late afternoon when Sam got back. He was hungry and so was Cas. They decided to prepare a quick meal while waiting for Dean. Cas told him about the conversation between him and Dean from earlier that day and how confused he was. " So you say he told you he wanted you to be happy and just left?" Cas nodded. " He wasn't mad at all and he said you should be happy and then he'd be happy too." 

"Interesting." Sam mumbled " I've known this man all my life and still I can't understand what's going on in that mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lost chapter here somewhere. That's on purpose, not by accident. It contains missing scenes, essential for untangling this mess. I should post it. Maybe.(?) ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this isn't the missing chapter. These are just new problems. 
> 
> I only WISH I have a beta. And it was very late when I wrote this so I don't even care about the mistakes.

Dean came back late It was getting dark. Sam and Cas were in front of the TV watching the news, but actually only stared at the flashing images. It wasn't new for Dean to go out for the day, but up untill now he'd always informed them about his plans. Sam got up from the couch, Cas followed him. They stood in front of Dean like parents whose teenage daughter just came back late from her first date. 

" Hello Dean, where were you?" Cas asked in a detective manner.

"Yeah, Dean, you didn't answer my call, or Cas's text. We were starting to worry." Now they even sounded like worried parents. 

Dean put the keys down and took off the jackett. "I just wanted to give you two some space. Y' know, some time alone." he answered without looking at them.   
"I know I can be an ass sometimes, but I'm not going to be third wheel. Besides, I did want to spend some time alone, to get used to the feel and all." He looked so sad and tired.

"Very funny. It's just because it was your day to do the laundry. " Sam snorted. " And Cas here even wanted to help you out so you can teach him how to properly shoot a gun." Sam stepped forward to clasp his shoulder but Dean turned around. 

"Cut it, Sam. I've seen you two around each other. And heard you too for that matter." Cas slightly nodded, more to himself, because he knew he was right when he felt something bad is happening. "The way Sam is going at it, I wonder how can you even sit down normally. Next time, keep it quiet, or put some music on, you... horny teenagers! " 

"What... what are you talking about!? Dean, please, you're making a scene." 

That really seemed to piss Dean off. Chemical reations and physical need have a strong influence on people. Drugs have similar effect. In a way, Dean's drug was Cas. He really wanted to forget about him and this stupid pining, he had the best intention to feel better. That's the thought he had in mind in the beginning of the day. The problem was he was hooked on him, so when he had decided to let him go, he experinced something like a serious withdrawal symptoms. Suddenly he needed him bad and felt so nervous and agitated. He never told either of them about his feelings, maybe because it took him long to figure them out or maybe he was afraid of their reaction to it. Who knew they wouldn't mind one bit. Ironic!

"Guess what, I wanted to be there for you but I think it's better for me to leave this place."

"Dean, what are you talking about? Nothing is wrong." Cas tried to sound calm.

"It is! Go ahead and ruin everything. What's going to happen when you have a fight or this thing doesn't work out. You'll break me all over again and then everything will change again."

 

After this little rampage the other two were in shock. Dean turned around to add one more thing. "And why do I always leave the room in such a dramatic fashion like some soap-opera girl. That's not something I'd do but I just can't stand looking at the two of you right now so I'm gonna do it anyway. " Dean was practically screaming and it would have been a funny scene if the stakes weren't that high. 

Dean dramatically left the room just as he announced, leaving Sam and Cas speechless. 

Things were still good. As long as Dean is talking and communucating Sam knew there's still a chance to get to him. Because when Dean shuts out things are really bad, there is no way to get any useful reaction from him until his rampage and sulking is over and he decides to go back to normal and pick up the pieces he left along that downfall. 

 

"Dean, we really need to talk!!!" he yelled through the corridors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I have made Dean suffer a lot and they are all slightly out of character.... sorry if it's messed up... LICENTIA POETICA


	8. Chapter 8 aka Chapter 5.5 aka The Missing Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, that missing chapter. It's wasn't actually missing, I just decided to post it later. 
> 
> Love your hits, kudos and comments. :D   
> Thank you.

A hunt for Dean, a hunt for Sam, simple, easy jobs to keep them alert and still give them time to recharge their batteries and enjoy a few slower days. They were like professional players off-season: plenty of time for relaxation, but with occasional practice to keep them in shape. Sam did his thing without much effort, even had fun with that nosy kid, detective wannabe. After that he headed home, just in time to miss out the annual maintenance of the the electrical installations ( he really didn't want to do that) but just in time for checking up their financial state. He was happy he could pitch in. 

 

After a couple of days he was beginig to get lazy, and,of course, occupied by his little mission with Cas and Dean. He forgot the old lady gave him a book, or more like a hand-written notebook, property of her next door neighbour from 45 years ago ( totally irrelevant to him, but supposedly a research material for her and her friend's new "paranormal" book). He needed to exchange that for a real book, a missing part of their library collection on curse spells. 

The problem was, on the night before the exchange he realised he'd lost the book. He knew he had left it in his room and now it just wasn't there. He looked through his bag, closet, the drawers.... it was nowhere to be found. He started to panic. He already told Dean everything has been taken care of and now it seemed he would have to tell him he'd messed up. Not a big problem, one might think, but Dean was very edgy lately and not getting the missing spell book might get them into real trouble in the future. They were depending on each other, now the three of them, they had to do everything in their power to make sure they're safe. 

 

Cas was usualy the last one to go to bed, the idea of knowing the brothers are safe and falling asleep made him feel like he did a good job taking care of them, even if they had protected him probably as many times as he had saved them. The bicycle ride was fun, but also exhausting and he too could not wait to rest his tired body. 

He saw the light in Sam's room and heard him moving around. His head peeked through the door. "Sam, is everything alright?" Sam was going through his bag one more time and invited Cas to come in. He explained him everything and Cas offered to help him search. Although Sam thought he had looked everywhere he could use a fresh pair of eyes.

"Let's do this systematically. You take this side and I'll take this one. We will cover the entire area and move towards each other."

Cas was working on a small cabinet when he saw something. Sam never said he moved the furniture during his search. There was plenty of room between the cabinet and the wall for a small object to fall in but not enough for his hand. If he could just move it a little bit and the widest part of his hand would slide in and grab the book. He tried to move it but that wasn't an easy task for a man kneeling down in an awkward position and a hand stuck in the narrow gap. Little by little, gasp by gasp he moved the cabinet and grabbed the thing that matched the description of the missing book. He was right. He turned around to show it to Sam. "Sam.." No answer.  
Sam's head was buried deep in the nightstand.  
"SAM!" he said louder and waved the book triumphantly. Sam looked at him and his face brightened. Instead of walking up to Cas he jumped on the bed to shorten his way to him. "Yeeah, Cas."  
His big feet got tangled in the covers and he fell, luckily ON the bed. With some kind of a moose-like grace he was struggling to free himself of the linen monster and finally he did it by falling off the bed on his hands and knees. It didn't matter. "Ooooh yesss" he felt so relieved.  
The problem was solved. He only has to do the exchange and it will be over. He'll do that first thing tomorrow morning. 

He thanked Cas for the help and they both went to bed. With the bike ride fun and now this, they fell asleep in a heartbeat.

 

.....

 

The next morning Cas and Sam got up early; Sam to get rid of that notebook and Cas wanted breakfast.  
"Um, Cas, I wish you wouldn't tell Dean about all of this. He doesn't know I had to do the trade and if he didn't wake up last night beacuse of my oversight and all that noise I'd like to keep it that way."

Cas looked worried, he liked the brothers but he was connected to Dean and the idea of hiding things from him made Cas uncomfortable. 

"First with this romance thing, which, by the way, I don't think is working, and now this situation with the book. I don't think we should be working behind Dean's back. It feels like we're plotting against him. "

"We are not plotting against him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are a bit clearer. Not to them, of course. Where's the fun in that? But soon they will work it out.   
> I hope this wasn't disappointing. Also, I think I should add more tags.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place immediately after chapter 7.

In his room, Dean let his body slide to the floor and he was just sitting there, back against the wall, crying. Not with a single man-tear, he was sobbing, his hands covering his face. 

He was afraid of failure, afraid of change and now he had nothing. 'It's your fault. It's your fault' his mind played on replay. He had fallen to Hell and back, he was damaged goods. Having Cas around and spending time with him was enough...until it wasn't anymore. He wanted Cas for himself, to love him, to teach him, to teach from him, to wake him up, to fall asleep with him, to make him laugh and never let anyone make him cry. He tried to fight it, this wasn't on the Dean Winchester agenda and how can he ask anyone to commit to something like that, not after all that Cas has already done for him. And now here he was, he still had Sam and Cas, but now they had each other too, two beautiful souls, how can they not find each other. Maybe Cas could have loved him like that, but he picked the better man, for sure.

"Man up, Winchester!" he told himself, got up, dusted his jeans off and with a deep breath opened the door.

....

For some time Cas thought they were getting somewhere, with occasional ups and downs, of course. Today, he planned on asking Dean to help him improve his shooting skills. He does need some practice, and also, being in Dean's personal space, holding hands with him on a gun handle while trynig to aim better was a pleasureable bonus.

They had been through a lot, with each other and BECAUSE of each other. Maybe Dean just needs a break from everything, from him. Cas felt like it was all his fault. Their lifestyle was rough and he always wanted to protect them and help them do good, but maybe he was a burden to Dean and he didn't know how to tell him that, his constant presence was holding Dean back in dangerous cases, he somehow made Cas' safety his responsability ( not that he can't take care of himself,thank you very much). He just wanted to be his partner, share everything with him. What just happened? How can he get to him?

His head, his body felt heavy, so heavy. Deep in his thoughts, he sat down with a groan.

"What is it, Cas?" 

"I'm tired and sad... and I feel, what's the word...sore?" he looked up. "Yeah, man, that happens in the next following days, especially if the person is a bit inexperienced, like you are. 'Muskelkater' as the Germans would say." Sam noded, always the nerd. He was referring to the bicycle riding, of course, and if Dean knew a word of German he would've realised that. "I'll get you something for that." He had some Aspirin in the cabinet. 

 

Dean was close enough to hear that conversation and make disgusted face and too close to turn around and leave unnoticed. Sam almost bumped into him when he turned around to get the Aspirin.

"Dean! What a pleasent surprise. We were on our way to your room to see if you're able to explain to us what's wrong."

"Maybe we should all sit down and openly share what's on our minds for a change." Cas motioned towards the chairs. "I'm worried..."

"Look man, let me just say what I had in mind before I change it, or forget something, it's hard enough as it is and then I'll listen whatever you have to say and won't say a word." Dean was determined. 

"I know you two are together. It hurts to find out this way, but I should have seen it comming. I was mad at you for not telling me sooner but I guess you were trying to be considerate. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk."

Both Cas and Sam's jaws dropped. They must have misheard this. " Dean, what do you mean by 'together'? What are you talking about?" Cas looked like someone punched him in the gut.

"Cas even confirmed it this morning and apologised for upseting me. See, when I first started to notice something was going on..."

...

Dean's version of the story sounded like crappy work of fiction to all three of them.

"I never confirmed such a thing." Cas felt like he had to defend himself in front of both brothers. "Because that's not what happened."

... 

There was a lot of hows and whys and whats and it took almost two hours of talking and explaining to resolve this embarrassing mix-up which led to Dean and Cas finally confessing their feelings for each other. It was still awkward and clumsy but they talked it all out.

 

"What were you thinking?" Dean was still confused.

"Apparently, when you want someone to get closer you give them some privacy. I was doing that for YEARS and it didn't work. So, yes, I came up with this little experiment. That experiment obviously failed!" 

"And I needed a friendly advice about dating. You two were my only friends and I couldn't ask you how to court you, right?"

"I'm sure that would've caused less drama then this." he was now in front of Cas. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist and let their foreheads touch.  
"I don't know. You tend to be very defensive about certain things." Cas was playing with him.

"Not when it comes to you. Not anymore, that is. " he smiled at Cas, he looked breathtaking from this proximity. 

"This is hilarious, you have to admit it." They both turned their heads slowly towards Sam. Cas tillted his head slightly and Dean raised an eyebrow. "Okay," Sam took a step back and raised a finger "but someday we'll laugh about this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The end. Happy end. Sorry for the bad things. Thank you all for doing this with me.


End file.
